The Art of Conversation
The Essential Art of Conversation-
Mastery of self may be a lifelong pursuit, yet thankfully Anyone can be a good conversationalist. It’s a learned skill that requires no pressing need to be witty or especially eloquent in our speech. It’s also a skill that we practice daily, affecting almost every aspect of life. A good conversationalist is at ease in expressing themselves, allowing for tighter social bonds and greater opportunities to network. They can better promote peace, align action, and motivate those around them. To be a good conversationalist is an art, and requires little more than a mindful commitment to listen and be thoughtful in our words.
Listening is also a learned skill however, and goes beyond not interrupting someone as they are speaking. To listen is to be present. It is to express genuine interest through eye contact and open body language. It is to be engaged, acknowledging the speaker through paraphrasing what was said, the occasional nod, or injecting affirming comments like “sure” and “I see”. Listening is also in asking open-ended questions to better sense the speakers’ meaning and intent. Etiquette is listen to understand, not to respond.
Be thoughtful with your words. Try to withhold judgment or offer advice when not asked. Pick up on the person’s rhythm of the speach, allowing them to complete their thoughts before reflecting back and conveying your own. Keep conversation light, positive, and approachable by engaging in small talk, which can carry the momentum of the conversation. Negativity and heavier, divisive subject matter can stifle a good conversation. Although cliche, avoid cursing, along with discussing views of politics, sex, or religion. Many people find these topics highly personal and could turn the conversation into a verbal spar. Focus on shared experiences and common interest to better connect.
A good conversationalist is genuine and modest in the way they represent themselves. They say ‘I don’t know’ when unsure, yet are concise in expressing their ideas. They are mindful not to dominate the conversation by sharing excessive details or monologging. They understand that conversation is a two-way street and that there is value in opposing viewpoints.
To master the art of conversation is also knowing when and how to end one. End on a high note. Be considerate to potential time constraints for yourself and others. Leave a lasting impression by projecting future plans to meet or offering a final enduring message. Above all, be gracious in having the opportunity to connect with others.